IS IT THOUGH?

One day I was on the way home after a great day at work I tend to choke on air randomly I don’t know why I struggle to breathe It can happen in the most normal places and I just go all red and feel so embarrassed and no one can do anything not even me just have to deal with the shitshow and move on

But there I was, just minding my own business on the tube, sitting in one of those fold-down seats that were not relevant to the story, but it does help with imagery. I would tell you how the weather was, but, I was in a tunnel.

Well, anyway, I thought I was about to choke, and then, unsurprisingly, I did

It was instant I disrupted this Tube It was quiet to begin with and here’s me just fucking dying in the corner

I need to stop this. I scuttled around my bag for my water, and when I found it, I didn’t even wait until I finished coughing, just straight down the hatch, and my god, that was a mistake

I became like a sprinkler on a golf course, a mix between making weird sounds and sputtering water in inconsistent intervals toward the fellow passengers. I then thought, you know what, this needs to stop

And I have this thing I do that doesn’t make any sense. If I am eating and I start choking on bread or something, my philosophy is that if I keep eating, I will eventually push the food down. I thought it would work in this situation

So I grabbed all I could, a chocolate bar and an apple, and I carried on munching

There was a pause

No coughing

Sadly, not. What I didn’t realize was that everything I had just eaten decided today was the day it needed more sun All the food and water just came tumbling out of my mouth and onto the floor

FUCK SAKE

I didn’t even stop coughing. Still choking still dying. Now joined by tears

Eventually, I came to and I wasn’t choking anymore I picked my bag up off the wet floor and got off a few stops early to regain my dignity that had left my mouth along with the sick