Pedestrians
When you learn to drive, you're told to check your blind spots, look around before pulling out, and especially to check behind you before braking. It’s the same principle when learning to ride a bike. So why hasn’t this translated to pedestrians and walking?
I’m guessing most people know the basics of walking—it’s just one foot in front of the other. But problems start when people stop being aware of their surroundings. That’s when things go south. I’ve walked straight into people or accidentally knocked them down just because of the speed I walk at. Some people lack common sense—and that's what I want to talk about.
DIRECTION IS KEY
When you drive, you don’t go the wrong way down a motorway. But walking? Some people do just that. They either (1) swerve between people, mistiming their moves and causing collisions with angry commuters, or (2) drop their head, put their foot down, and march forward like they own the pavement. Everyone else is forced to move around them. Absolute menaces.
Here’s a little thing I’ve started doing: if you spot one of these entitled walkers heading toward you, don’t move. Walk straight at them. It's like a risky game of chicken, especially dramatic on rainy days. These people will learn their lesson eventually. There isn't enough space in the community of shit commuters for everyone to be a twat.
MOVEMENT (AND SPEED)
How you move is everything. Let’s start small: if you’re walking alone, pick the side with fewer people. If you’re on a crash course with someone, move to one side. Be decent. You might just make someone’s day better.
If you're walking in a couple, don’t take up the entire path during rush hour. And absolutely don’t waltz. There's no time for slow choreography when people need to get home. If it’s a romantic stroll, pick a quiet side street. You chose this busy main road, you live with that.
Groups larger than two? Mistake. One of my favourite jokes from a plane safety briefing applies here: if you're flying with children, first why? And second when the oxygen masks fall, put yours on first, then pick your favourite child. The one with the most potential. Same idea with walking: pick someone you actually like talking to, and pair off. The rest of us will thank you.
SPEED AND OVERTAKING
Walking is basically driving. Pavements have three lanes:
LEFT LANE: for slow walkers, elderly folks and those having a rough day.
MIDDLE LANE: for people overtaking slowly or walking medium speed.
RIGHT LANE: my lane. The fast lane. For people who are in an actual rush not that fake fast walk with wild arms. People do to look like there are needed places
Runners? You’ve got roads. Take your own risks.
And seriously—check behind you before switching lanes. Be aware.
CASE STUDY: PEDESTRIAN PILE-UP
One day I was walking home. A guy ahead of me in the middle lane decided to overtake. But he had no clue what was happening around him, no spatial awareness. As he pulled out of his lane, everything went quiet. I was walking briskly. He was not. We collided. Both went down. Just check before you move. That’s all it takes.
STATIONARY PEOPLE AT STATIONS
One of my pet peeves: at tube stations, a crowd exits the train and walks toward the escalator. But then, suddenly, someone stops dead in their tracks. Why? They’re either on their phone or staring at a map. Why not move to the side? Why plant yourself directly in the walking path? Utter madness.
PHONES
Please don’t walk and scroll endlessly. It’s painful for everyone else trying to move around you.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Walking can be a joy, or a nightmare. Often, it’s a nightmare because people ignore the very rules they don’t know exist. It all boils down to a bit of awareness. Don’t weave around like a drunk Roomba. However that’s placed an image in my head that I’ll never forgot. A drunk Roomba. At what point does it stop hoovering Use your head.
P.S. I once saw a guy trip over a homeless person. That’s not just inconsiderate, it’s straight-up disrespectful but also what can you do!