Weather
THE Soggy wet Dog - I Smelt like a soggy wet dog - I looked like A SOGGY WET DOG - I FELT LIKE A SOGGY WET DOG - STORNG SMELL (TOO MUCH)
Introduction
There’s a simple fix to my problem, but for this, I want you to forget that weather apps exist. Imagine there’s no way of finding out the weather. This is how I live. I wake up every day and judge the weather based on my mood. Why look out the window and see the obvious thunderstorm when I can feel alive and free and think, shorts are the best way to go? It’s about being in denial, mainly.
For example, one day I woke up and, without checking my phone, nor the window, nor the sun glaring through said window and into my eyes, I decided: Today I feel cozy. I want to feel like I’m still in bed. So I whipped on my comfiest smart wear and plodded off to work. As I locked my door and stood outside, I realised I’d fucked up. I could’ve just walked back in and changed, but no—I live with these decisions.
When I start walking, I find stopping very challenging. Like in sports: I might be running for the ball, and clock someone else is also running for it. Normally, they’re on my team, but I don’t give up or think, They’ve got it. No, no, no,I keep charging, sometimes run faster, and the inevitable happens: we collide, both go down. Stupid? Yes. Will I do it again? Of course I fucking will.
So back to it, I walked for a good 20 minutes. By the time I sat on the train, I was drenched. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and I was fucking miserable. I should’ve been happy, but I was so sticky, so yucky. There are only a few things worse than being incredibly sweaty on the train.
Luckily, I had a few stops where it was all good—no one sat next to me, thank God. But then, everyone in this whole town thought today’s the day to go to the office. (Small thing: I forgot my deodorant, so I was a bit whiffy.) Train windows don’t do well, as I’ll talk about later.
This lovely lady sat down. There was a good 40-year age gap, so hopefully her sense of smell had deteriorated over the years. Still, I thought I should warn her. I leaned over and said, “I’m very sorry, I rushed this morning. I think I smell quite bad and I do apologise.” She said, “No worries.” I thought she’d do the nice thing and say, “No, you smell fine,” to put me at ease, knowing I wasn’t making the carriage smell. But no.
If you have a dog with fur and you go for a walk in the rain, then get home, dogs have a certain smell that infuses with the soggy rainy, ou get a soggy dog. I smelled like a soggy wet dog. But now she’d left me there, sweating and worrying.
Conclusion
I got to work and they’d fixed the heating, so I was roasting from start to finish, and there was nothing I could do. I’d say I’ve done this a good 50 times in the past six months. I live in denial; therefore, I never learnt this lesson.