Corners

Some corners in life are just profoundly awkward, and I want to talk about two of them that make things unnecessarily harder.

The first is in London Bridge. As you walk toward the News Building and head for the Underground, there's a sharp, blind corner that contributes to a ridiculous number of awkward encounters and a general increase in public embarrassment. You see, most people take that corner like they’re driving a race car, hugging it as tightly as humanly possible. Which, to be honest, is incredibly stupid. You can’t see what’s coming, and chances are, the person coming the other way has had the exact same brilliant idea.

The result? Collision after collision. It’s not really anyone’s fault, and at the same time, it’s everyone’s fault. You're both wrong. Personally, I like to think I take a more reasonable approach, which means I get to walk away with dignity while you crawl out of the situation like a disgraced businessman after an unsolicited hug.

My strategy? I take the corner at the widest possible angle. That way, I can see oncoming foot traffic and avoid body-checking strangers. Honestly, it’s the only intelligent way to navigate that corner without ruining your day, or someone else’s.

The second issue is with bikes and corners, especially in areas surrounded by tall buildings. Turning corners should be a simple thing, but there seems to be a complete lack of understanding about who has the right of way. Apparently, it's whoever is bold, or reckless, enough to take the corner fastest. It’s like a game of chicken, and whoever flinches last claims victory.

But based on my earlier point, I have to challenge that logic. If you're the kind of person who "wins" chicken around a blind corner, you're not brave, you're a massive T.W.A.T., and no, you shouldn't win. You should be politely escorted to a mandatory course on spatial awareness and Fuckwittery.