Tickets please? Are they still needed?
A one-way door? If you tried to open it the other way, would it open? Probably not.
They are one of the most annoying things in the world. Top of the list is squeaky, poorly assembled furniture during an exam. Fuck, that's painful to sit through. Or leg room on a plane, but that's more specific to the tall folks.
Introduction
Firstly, we have to tackle ticket barriers and how messed up they are. What is their purpose? A checkpoint or toll booth to get to where you need to be? Basically, you are trapped. But no, you aren't, as these things don't stop when some moron decides, I'm not going to pay, and just barges through the barrier. Where is the resistance? A one-way door? If you tried to open it the other way, would it open? Probably not. Why can't barriers stay closed when they are needed? It's so stupid.
Then we glide on down to where the ticket goes. Sometimes tickets work, and other times they don't, and then you become the problem. Picture this: You have just been almost suffocated on the Tube, and the doors open, so you sprint for the escalator, but this elderly man decides today is the day he will prove his grandson wrong and climb the escalator. So he's dying, stopping every step for a breath and to regain consciousness. He loses the battle and slides to the right, grabs the handrail, and then keels over. You stride past, then you reach the top, and you see the row of empty barriers, and it's just your luck. You pull out the ticket you've been using for your entire journey, the one that has been working perfectly for every barrier up until this point, so it should be fine. You put it in,
A long pause, and it comes straight back, and the comforting orange light sprays red. You have lost. There are around fifty passengers queuing behind you, and you can't move, as everyone has decided not to stand in a queue but sort of huddle around the barrier, hoping to squeeze in.
You know when you are driving and the lanes merge? If a car comes all the way down to the point where the cars merge, do you let them in? Probably not, which I think explains why no one gets out of the way when I have a problem with my car.